If you are single and have survived another Valentine’s Day, throw your hands up!  When it comes to February 14^th the constant reminder about marital statuses abounds. According to reports “U.S. consumers will spend $19.7 billion for the holiday” (source: al.com) and the average gift will be worth almost $150.00.

So does this mean one isn’t even worth $150 if Valentine’s Day left one empty? Not at all.

But how can you deal with a holiday – and the rest of “boo season” for that matter – when love, hearts, flowers, and cupids are thrown in your face? How can logging onto social media be made less painful without seeing engagement announcements, gift pics and other images that show how lonely you might just be?

By finding someone to love? Nope.

To clarify, finding someone to love is a wonderful thing! There is another person that thinks the world of you and will move mountains just to see you smile. Beautiful! But you’ll want to make sure that the love is aimed at the person you’re targeting, not just the idea of love. Don’t fall in love with love. It’s time to understand that love is an action, not just a thing. Falling in love with love, and not an actual human being could leave you frustrated, to say the least: the wrong person receiving your love will often leave you empty, and…does has the person ever loved you in the first place?

The following three questions will help you fall in love the right way:

1- How well do you know yourself?

When I first fell in love (or so I thought!) I knew very little about myself. This means I didn’t take into consideration how important having my needs met would mean. Women were raised to be there for others, not so much for themselves. Does it come to any surprise that still, most service-oriented jobs are held by women? We were created to nurture, others. It’s high time we started to serve ourselves. Not in a selfish way though, I mean listen to your gut. Pay attention to the intuition and don’t be afraid to say no when you don’t want to say yes. You should make time to discover what’s important to yourself, whether it is important to the next person or not. This way, you’re not just living to please someone else. Get to know the only person you are sure to leave this world with. Get to know yourself. Only then will you be ready to get to know other people.

2- How well do you know the person?

For me, there was only one reason to fall for a guy back in the day: because he was fine, because he said the right things and because he was fine. Today, there are so many opportunities for getting to know a person who has piqued your interest, from Starbucks to wine tastings. (If he drinks too much wine at a wine tasting, run!) Much of a fine guy’s personality is found online, in a criminal background search and in social media. By getting to know the person before using the L word, you will save yourself from future danger and pointless drama.

3- How well do you know love?

Without an understanding of love, your pursuit of it is pointless. Why would anyone share so much valuable information – and their body and soul – with a person who doesn’t love them? Remember, the Bible suggests that love is patient and kind. It’s not boastful either, so if you find “Mr. Right” is more than willing to shower you with expensive Valentine’s Day gifts after knowing you for a few weeks, you may want to ask about the rushed gesture. Psychopaths work in mysterious ways…

Decide today to reconsider falling in love, with love. By asking the three questions above you will be able to add value to yourself and your future relationship by getting exactly what you want without losing who you are. Love is not to be taken lightly.

If you’ve found this post to be helpful at all, please let me know in the comments.

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